Sometimes things just don't work out as planned

“Promise me you’ll always remember, you’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.” - Christopher Robin to Pooh

The above quote screamed loud and clear to me. The journey to Ironman is long. It starts to take a toll on you emotionally, physically, spiritually. But somewhere, way down deep in your soul, you know that the journey is worth it - no matter the results.

The past few months have been very difficult for me, to say the least. It has made me question a lot of things, but the one thing that I never questioned was my training for Ironman. Here’s a little quirk about me: When I am upset, angry, stressed, pissed off, etc. I work out.Sometimes, not the best thing for me, but this is my way of coping.

I was starting to feel really good about my training while everything else was coming apart at the seams. A lot of things started coming together. Then, a crazy idea popped in my head. Maybe, possibly, I could go under 16 hours. But, you never know what may happen on race day. Sometimes you just have to go with the flow and be ready for whatever may happen. This proved to be the case for me on Sunday.

I’m not going to go into the days leading up to Ironman, but to just say I met some of the most amazing people: Simba, Morgan, John, Mark, all my new favorite peeps at Tribe Multisport in Scottsdale, cool dude at the Hippie Gypsy, the woman who remembered me from Candy Addict and just about everyone else that I met and just had cool ass conversations with.

Now let’s get to race morning:

I set my alarm on my cell phone, my heart rate monitor and my iPAD since I am always paranoid that I will be that one athlete who misses the start of the race. What happened? I woke up before all 3 alarms. So, I proceeded to make my oatmeal and get ready to head out the door. The ONLY good thing about where I stayed was the fact that I was 9 blocks from the race site. Walking distance! So, I gathered my jacket, my morning clothes bag with my wetsuit, goggles, cap and extra munchies and my 2 special needs bag for the bike and run. This year, I decided to go very minimal. For the bike special needs bag, all I had were 2 water bottles: 1 with water and 1 mixed with 3 scoops of eFuel Tropical Punch (this is the good stuff) + a bag of sour patch kids. My run special needs bag had a bag of Swedish fish and a pack of Hall’s cough drops (trust me on this). On my walk down, I had to make one key stop. Yes, you guessed it: Starbucks for a Grande Blonde Roast. It was needed.  So, I start walking some more with other athletes when this one woman bursts out crying. Why? Her son flew overnight from Boston to see his mother compete in Ironman. How effing cool is that?

Anyhoo, back to my story. I get to transition and first went straight to Beeker. I filled up all of my water bottles and made sure that everything was ok. With so many people around me, I started to get overwhelmed. Some random man gave me a hug and told me everything would be fine. Don’t worry, Ironman is full of people giving encouragement, hugs, just plain positive vibes all around. He was also cute. Oh, I digress. After my bike was set, I headed straight to my bike clothes bag. I opened up 4 hand warmers and put them in my socks and shoes since I figured that it was going to be a cold swim (68 degrees) and wanted my feet to be warm. One thing that I should have thought of and didn’t: arm warmers. After I did that, I received a text from the fellas on where they would be at but I needed to first, get in line for the porta potties! Oh yeah, but guess what? I found a very short line and lucky for me, I had a flashlight because it was still dark. After that, I walked over to drop off my special needs bags and then off to find the fellas. So we were waiting around before it was time to start lining up. Small chit chat, the putting on of the wetsuits. Can I just say that no one looks sexy in a wetsuit. No one. So, as we are slowly walking, I think I lost the fellas, but then that little thing called anxiety started creeping up but a couple of ladies hugged me and thanked me for being positive and cracking jokes in the porta potty line. A few guys decided to give me a hug also. I felt okayish, but I had to get into my own little world. Found the glasses table to hand them over. The woman who I gave my glasses to remembered me from last year and wished me luck. Suddenly, I hear someone yelling my name. It was my friend Amy, who had to tell me it was her since I couldn’t see a damn thing (no, I do not wear contacts. Long story) She wished me luck and I proceeded to walk the plank, I mean walk down the stairs to jump in the water. Why not dive in? Well, do you remember when Lake Michigan was about 3 feet lower than it should have been. Well that was Tempe Town Lake. It was much lower so you had to jump in or in my case, sit on the bottom steps and ease myself in.  Oh the water was effing cold even with the fact that I had poured water into my wetsuit before hand to try and get some warmth. I swam towards the middle back to start treading water and just wait for the cannon to go off. In the minutes and seconds before the cannon goes off, there is a lot of nervous energy, fears, doubts but I was just thinking, “Can we get this swim on? I am COLD.” The cannon goes off and I started swimming. Here was my plan for the swim: swim close to the buoy line (since I’m blind and I knew it would be super sunny), swim a straight line and try not to get hit, kicked, punched or swam over. Very lofty goals. After about 15 minutes or so, I was able to get into a real comfortable rhythm but I felt slow. I was getting colder by the minute but I just kept swimming. 4 buoys down, 5, 6, 7, 8...Ok, I’m doing fine. I was sighting roughly every 12-15 strokes. I couldn’t see the first red turn buoy until I was almost in front of it. Told you my vision sucks! This is where the bottleneck happened. I had to do some aggressive swimming just to get out of the bottleneck. Then, I had clear(ish) real estate to get to the next turn buoy and then another 1.2 miles to go. At this point, I was starting to get hungry but I was not getting warm. Mind you, I had on a full sleeve suit and it was not helping me at all. Just keep swimming! At about a ¼ mile left, I got hit by a kayak. That seriously hurt. The kayaker apologized but I was concerned about getting to the finish. Finally, the last turn buoy and it was a straight shot to the stairs. I finally got to the stairs and I literally couldn’t pull myself up. I know that I am strong but damn! The volunteers were amazing helping me up. I made it up the stairs and then I started shaking...bad. I.WAS.SO.COLD! I was trying to unzip my wetsuit but I couldn’t but thank God for volunteers. I had to be eased down for the volunteers to strip my wetsuit off of me, but then I had to get help back up. I was so happy my friend Amy was there as a volunteer and she was so positive and reassuring. Thank you!

So, I ran towards the changing tent, or my version of running. The volunteers handed me my bike changes clothes and I made my way to the tent. When I sat down, I was still so cold that the volunteers were doing as much as they could to warm me up. Luckily, there were 4 nurses in the changing tent volunteering. Unlucky, no chicken broth. Grrrr…….They used a Mylar blanket to help me warm up but when that wasn’t working, one of the nurses cut the blanket, set it out in the sun and stuffed it into my tri top to try to keep my core warm. I had about 10 minutes to get out of the tent so I slammed a fruit squeeze pack (similar to applesauce), donned my socks and cycling shoes (at least they were warm), sunglasses and goggles and made it to my bike. Since I was still so cold, the volunteer took my bike from me and walked with me to the mount line. It was hard as hell trying to get clipped in so I held on to the railing and who do I see, my friend Tim who knew I was cold but encouraged me to get a move on. I did. Once I got up and over the ramp, it was go time.

Let’s talk about the bike for a minute. My bike is a size too small and I really do not like the bike but I will fake a damn smile in a Chicago minute. I’m riding and I like, ok, I got this, but I.WAS.STILL.COLD!!!!! Once I got to the first aid station, I had to get off my bike. I was just trying to warm up but the sun was not helping nor was that damn wind. We will get to that in a few. I was chit chatting with one of the volunteers and lo and behold, there’s Hootie. If you don’t know Hootie, then something is DEFINITELY wrong with you. He was like, “Aren’t you suppose to be on the bike riding?” “Yeah, but I am cold.” Luckily, one of the volunteers handed me a discarded Mizuno running vest. Oh, I think she may have saved my life. I got on the bike and proceeded on my merry little way. The wind was bearable as in the past 2 years but as soon as I hit Beeline HWY, BAM!!!! That wind hit me like a sack of bricks. At one point, I was going 7.7 mph. No joke, that’s how bad the wind was. I knew if I could just keep going to the top of the turn, it would be smooth sailing until the next 2 times (it’s a 3 loop swim). I made that tight turn at the top and I was FLYING at 30mph (oh shit!). Yep, I felt like I was gaining some momentum. This is fun until loop number 2. Damnit, that wind. The best way to describe this wind, which was a head wind is to imagine being on a stationary bike outside with one of those special effect industrial strength fans blowing in your face while some dumbass decides to put the resistance on the bike at the highest level and you feel like you are pedalling through quicksand. Yeah, it was THAT BAD. I was gripping onto my bike for dear life just so I would not be blown over. My main focus was breathing, keeping (or trying to keep) a high cadence and keep saying my mantra in my head, “I’m strong, I’m Fierce, I’m super Iron Fit Fro!” Don’t laugh. It was working. Made it to the top of the 2nd loop and made my way back. I was at this point racing the clock. I had to make that final loop. I made the turn but it was really tight and I crashed into an official. I was apologizing like crazy but he was more concerned for me. I REALLY LOVE IRONMAN RACES!!! I had a problem clipping back in but he held my bike for me to get clipped back in a shoved me on my way.

Being the analytical person that I am, I started to do the math. I had an hour and 30 minutes or so to make it to the top of the final loop. I was pushing as hard as I could. It was literally a fight to stay upright, to stay hydrated, to keep on my nutrition and to keep pedaling. I felt as if I wasn’t moving. I made 80 miles and I was like, keep going. I knew I made another key check point at mile 83 or so. But the clock was ticking. I was fighting for dear life, but with this fight were 2 women who were also struggling so we decided to work together. Amber and Justine were from Colorado and they were awesome. We had the Salt River Police hanging with us in the back plus a Sag vehicle. We were talking and struggling with the wind in our faces. We figured, let’s do this until they pull us off the course. It was there first time and we were just chatting away. Amber had 3 flats on the course. Justine had a major panic attack on the swim and barely made the cutoff. We kept riding. They kept telling me how strong of a rider I was. I guess I am. The only thing that was killing me were my hands up to my elbows. Even though I was wearing gloves, thank you Tribe Multisport, it wasn’t enough. Lo and behold. There was no way in Hell that I was going to make it to the top of the turn by 4:15. I figured I had 8 minutes and roughly 4 -5 miles to go. It WAS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. So, me and the girls got off our bikes and it was a wrap. Darin Lewandowski, our awesome SAG vehicle support guy asked us if we wanted hot chocolate and chicken noodle soup. Oh my GOD, can I tell you that I wanted to kiss him but my lips were so damn windburned I couldn’t. It was the most amazing hot chocolate ever and then couple that with chicken noodle soup? You would have thought that I was eating at a Michelin 5 Diamond restaurant. We loaded up our bikes and piled in. He asked us if we wanted music, and yes, we were singing to Katy Perry songs. Shhhh…..I was making the best of a situation. He asked if we needed any aspirin, ibuprofen and what did we ask for? Well I asked for tequila and chapstick. Someone else asked for Xanax. While we were driving, we kept rolling down the window to cheer on the final riders and kept trying to encourage them. I called my partner in crime to let him know what happen and everyone kept looking at me like, are you okay. No, are you okay. We’ll get to that in a moment. So Darin dropped me off and I walked with my bike towards the transition to get my clothes where I ending up seeing Shelley and Chris in my tutus. Damn, did anyone get a picture of Chris in my tutu? This would be the best post ever. When they saw me, Chris and Shelley both gave me a hug per Sally’s request and were asking if I was ok. I was just cold and hungry and sore but the good thing, I was able to drop off my bike early. I grabbed my bags and we ended up at Loco Patron. I had a beer and some chicken taquitos. Soon, more friends came. The whole entire LifeTime Fitness gang minus the Panda. Everyone hugged me and my buddy Tommy and we ended up doing tequila shots. Not one but 2! What I really wanted to do was to just walk back to my hotel to shower, change and get back to the finish line but that didn’t happen. I showered and changed but I crashed soon after and I woke up at about 1am. But, I needed the sleep. I checked my Facebook, Twitter and email to see the various comments from friends and family and proceeded to start packing while watching more Law & Order reruns.

As I said in one of my Facebook and Twitter posts, it was not a good day at the office but I did the best that I could under the circumstances. Am I disappointed in myself? A little. Am I upset? Not really. A little depressed? Kind of. I actually do not know what type of emotions that I’m feeling but I gave it all I could. Could I have changed things? Maybe, but you can never predict what may happen on race morning. This was the worst hyperthermia that I have ever dealt with. I really should have went to the medical tent, but I am soo effing hardheaded. I did not warm up for damn near 40 miles on the bike. It was miserable, it was brutal but the support from the volunteers and all of the other athletes made my day and made it possible for me to believe that I had a chance of finishing a 2nd Ironman. I did not have anything to prove to anyone, because the greatest prison people live in is the fear of what other people think. I came, I saw, I attempted, I made friends, I inspired, I was inspired. That’s all I can say. I’m an Ironman already!

So, what’s next on the radar? Hello Ironman Cozumel 2015! I need warm, I need sun, I need a beach. Am I going to take time off from working out? Well, it worked out for all of 2 days. So, it will be back to the drawing board and get ready for my next adventure.You would think I would just sit my ass down. Y’all should know that is not going to happen, AT ALL.

Lastly, I just want,no I need to thank the following folks and places for all of your support:

• Fitness Formula Clubs (especially FFC East Lakeview and FFC Lincoln Park)

• TriMonster
• Sole Tri Sisters
• Team Dream
• Black Triathlete Association
• Element MultiSport
• Live Grit
• Tribe MultiSport
• REI
• Starbucks (no, really)
• Crank Sports
• Newton Running Shoes
• Moxie Cycling Tops
• 2XU (the best tri shorts EVER!!!!!!!!!)
• Chris Navin
• Scott Lewandowski
• Ed Dailey (The Leadman/Ironman guru)
• Gillian Forsyth (the original Honeybadger)
• Johann Baniqued (I still hate track workouts)
• Derrick Milligan (The Tempo Trainer was the best thing you could have ever introduced me to)
• Maurice (Mo) Wills
• Sally Stresnak (coffee lover and Prince aficionado)
• Erin Kelley (the AWESOMEST BARISTA)
• Terri Friel
• Joe Linkous
• Tommy Grace
• Greg Weyer
• Curt Hupe
• Fred Critch (Iron Guru)
• Becky Critch
• KD Richardson
• Lovie Twine
• Batavia Choctaw
• Donnie DeMary
• Darnell Bolton
• Larry McDowell
• The Miles Family (yes, my last name is Miles and I do a lot of miles in this crazy sport)

If I forgot you, I’m sorry. For everyone who has supported me, thank you. I know that I can get a little overly passionate about what I do since I am also in the Fitness Profession, but all I can say is thank you for accepting me as I am.

Like Bugs Bunny said, “That’s all Folks!"